Sunday, June 16, 2013

5th step last Friday

12x12 p. 48-49

"When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."
BB Acceptance, p.417

Perfectionism: too high expectations of self, too high expectations of others
stop "shoulding" on myself

It is ok to make visible mistakes

I need to develop more authentic friendships.

I actually was setting boundaries with some of my former sponsors.

Money issues.  I'm afraid to look at buying a house yet.

With clients perfectionism makes me feel inadequate, when it isn't my job.
Anger shows me that I need to set a boundary.

I need to pick a Home Group.

"Acceptance has been the answer to my marital problems. It’s as though A.A. had given me a new pair of glasses. Max and I have been married now for thirty-five years. Prior to our marriage, when she was a shy, scrawny adolescent, I was able to see things in her that others couldn’t necessarily see—things like beauty, charm, gaiety, a gift for being easy to talk to, a sense of humor, and many other fine qualities. It was as if I had, rather than a Midas touch which turned everything to gold, a magnifying mind that magnified whatever it focused on. Over the years as I thought about Max, her good qualities grew and grew, and we married, and all these qualities became more and more apparent to me, and we were happier and happier.
     But then as I drank more and more, the alcohol seemed to affect my vision: Instead of continuing to see what was good about my wife, I began to see her defects. And the more I focused my mind on her defects, the more they grew and ultiplied. Every defect I pointed out to her became greater and greater. Each time I told her she was a nothing, she receded a little
Page 419
more into nowhere. The more I drank, the more she wilted.
     Then, one day in A.A., I was told that I had the lenses in my glasses backwards; “the courage to change” in the Serenity Prayer meant not that I should change my marriage, but rather that I should change myself and learn to accept my spouse as she was. A.A. has given me a new pair of glasses. I can again focus on my wife’s good qualities and watch them grow and grow and grow."

Ruth noted that I didn't put myself on the list.  I need to stop being judgmental of myself.  Forgiveness.

Step 6: write affirmations as requests to God to change defects into assets

Write a letter not to be mailed to BJ

Where I look is where I go!

p. 75 5th step

go to meetings to be available
go to Thurs.

Fear prayer

pg 449 print chapter for RCA


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